2001-10-14 - 7:06 p.m.
man...the days are flying by...and i hardly even notice anymore.
its sorta sad really. i wish i didnt feel as though my life were wasting away...empy day by empty day. i wish i had time to do something. by the time i get home i'm so tired i dont feel like doing anything, and my mornings are spent chasing trains or dreading going to work.
i used to turn to my computer during times like this...but there's no one on here to talk to anymore either...i must be a leper.
shit...plum forgot. *note sarcasm*
anyways.
i've been thinking about trying to go to the high school and see johl. maybe that'll cheer me up. although after last time i saw him and made an ass outta myself, who knows.
and i could call mike...but honestly, i dont really wanna do that either...even the thought of him is getting old. great he's hot and wants to have meaningless sex with me...great...i'm so honored... *more sarcasm*
fuck this
fuck everybody.
*zips up cranky pants*
i know what would make me feel better...
Old Navy.
that's right.
you heard me, i said Old Navy...a new pair of jeans and perhaps a matching shirt. and then on to torrid for some new goth gear i'll never wear and cute sexy underwear.
when all else fails, go shopping. nothing like a new thong-th-thong-thong-thong to make a girl feel good about herself.
fucking boys.
i hate them.
i dont understand them and i never will.
they like you, they dont like you, everone else seems to have no problem getting them...but not me. it was supposed to get better after i left uxie...life was supposed to change and things were gonna be different. sure, now i have confidence, but a hell of a lot of good thats doing me...now i just get hit on by old men at work who think that because i'm selling them cigarettes that i somehow care about their life, or lack thereof.
i feel like such a loser.
i have a college degree, and i still work in fucking retail with goofy hormone-driven teenagers and sad middleaged people that dropped outta high school for a managerial position at the service desk. fucking bj's. fucking world.
i should just give up now.
*sinks deeper into the comfy arms of the angry chair*
~J
