2002-01-17 - 9:48 p.m.
i hate money.
but what i hate more is not having any.
watching the other people at school coming back from the camera store with bags full of supplies and having to mooch off them to get my assignments done as best i can.
bills that can't be paid til the last minute...worrying how i'm gonna pay the rent...wondering why since we have no heat our gas bill could have possibly doubled this past month....
and feeling hungry.
i mean, i'm not starving but the fridge is empty.
bare.
so sad.
i hate money.
i think the world should go back to a system of bartering. goods for goods services for services....
maybe then i could sleep at night....maybe then as i try to sleep i would'nt be woken up in the middle of the night feelin like i'm gonna retch...knowing i'm not but still feeling like it none the less...
i always thouhgt it was funny when my grandfather used to tell me to marry someone with lots of money...someone rich like a doctor or a lawyer...now every day it sounds more and more like a good idea. hah. not that i'm ever gonna get married...the trick to getting married is that there's gotta be someone else who wants to marry you.
it would just be nice to have a normal life. i dont need to be rich, i just dont wanna have to worry about it any more.
~J
