2002-01-25 - 8:10 p.m.
i wrote this whole entry about how hard i've been working and i'm still not making enough money...but i realized it wasnt gonna do any good to bitch about it.
and people are gonna think of me what they're gonna think of me...and not much i can do is gonna change that.
i dont need to go into how hard i work, how tired i get how sick i feel all the time, or how good my photography is coming along...
and as much as having a nice relationship with a great guy would make life a million times more bearable, i need to realize its not gonna happen. not now. and prolly not for a while. i'm not being depressive i'm being realistic. men dont fall outta the sky, and as much as i'd like to believe the weather girls when they sing its raining men, my hopes are fading. because between 4 days of working and 3 days of school, (neither of which are weilding any aspects at the present moment) there isnt much time or opportunity to further that chase.
the dream has officially died.
now its just the pursuit of money and power thats keeping me going...since faith in humanity and love at first sight didnt serve much of a purpose, im now hoping malice and bitterness will at least get me a few rungs up the corporate ladder.
