2004-07-10 - 9:34 p.m.
there were firewerks tonite...
could see em from my house which was nice...bu tthe boy haad to werk so i missed out on all the festivities that go along wid the uxie display. bummer.
i thought this year would have some grander meaning for me...
cuz every year up to now i can remember sitting and watching the firewerks and wondering...wondering if this year ahead would be the year...if next year at this time there would be someone holding me under all the pretty lights.
and this year i had someone...
and i wanted him to hold me under the fireworks...
but he didnt. i guess whatever was on tv seemed like a better idea. and i know im blowing this all outta proportion...
i know he loves me
but this was important to me
and i tried everything to get that point across without actually explaining to him the whole schpeal...
maybe i should have...
but maybe it shouldnt have mattered...
i guess i wanted him to know it was important to me and that it was something i wanted to do and for him to just do it. jus sit there with me fer a half hour and watch the fucking fireworks.
but he didnt.
such is life.
i should shut the fuck up and stop being such a spoiled little bitch.
but it was the fourth (on the 10th) and i wanted to wash away forever the other memories i had and start making new ones.
but nothing ever goes the way you plan it to.
you can plan a pretty picnic but you cant predict the weather...ms.jackson.
maybe im crazy.
maybe?
heh.
i think we all know hte answer to that.
till the next fourth.
there' sone more under the ol belt.
~J
